Why am I the only person in the world who thinks it’s incredibly degrading when someone addresses an envelope “Mr. & Mrs. <Mr’s Name> <Last Name>”?
It’s rude.
I am not, nor have I ever been named “Mrs. Paul Peterson”.
In fact, I will never be Mrs. Paul Peterson. My name is Kelly.
Collectively, the Husband and I are “Mr. & Mrs. Peterson” or “Mr. Paul Peterson & Mrs. Kelly Peterson”, or perhaps “Paul & Kelly Peterson” if you’re feeling informal.
You could even simply write “The Petersons” if you’re not up to including two first names.
When I alter my first name to match my husbands’ in addition to my surname, I will let people know. Until then, stop using an archaic and outdated practice from the days of women as chattel and let that degradation of equality die the death it deserves.